”Your commit shall not move,” stated the VCS
Which Lord of the Rings character does your code present you’re?
Who doesn’t love Peter Jackson’s epic movie adaption of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings novel? And who doesn’t love countless and countless hours of writing code, debugging, and testing? Not you, clearly… you’re a fierce code warrior, a grasp of keys, a programming encyclopaedia, a tech guru, a Dalai Lama and Senpai, the Yin and Yang, and also you at all times ship on time and on funds.
I’m glad you discovered me, warrior. I would like sturdy women and men by my aspect, able to struggle an unfair struggle, prepared to provide their all, able to make relentless sacrifices simply to maintain our undertaking supervisor completely satisfied.
However earlier than we embark on this epic journey collectively… I must know… How shall I name you?
Undoubtedly among the many group’s strongest and superior leaders, you’re typically the particular person relied upon to offer concern and risk when tight deadlines must be met. You’re the boss’s proper hand, and your code is tempted by evil concepts. At your mighty, top-of-the-range Mac laptop computer, you create numerous monsters terrorising all different builders round you.
You as soon as had all of the programming knowledge on the earth, however now you misplaced it, and the younger builders that discovered it wish to destroy it as a result of they discover it to be too highly effective. Your code is loud, and also you deviate from the specs at will.
Your favorite quote is:
“A brand new energy is rising. Its victory is at hand. This night time the land will likely be stained with the blood of bugs. March to JIRA. Go away no bug alive. To conflict!”
You might be expert and constant, with a ardour to your work. Chances are you’ll be cussed to the purpose of no return, however your sturdy sense of teamwork and camaraderie, collectively along with your readiness to assist and defend each single line of code you wrote, makes you a useful group member.
Your code is powerful and reliable, and also you give attention to effectivity and performance over flashy bells and whistles. You’re employed effectively underneath strain, despite the fact that VIM remains to be your “IDE” of selection.
Your favorite quote is:
“Certainty of demise? Small likelihood of success? What are we ready for, let’s code!”
Folks have a look at you and marvel what occurred to the undertaking’s funds: Are we hiring schoolboys now?
How silly they’re. You is probably not essentially the most expert group member, however you make up for it along with your unwavering dedication to ship each single Kanban card. Alone. You might be unafraid of difficulties, even when the percentages are stacked towards you.
Your code is detailed-oriented and meticulous. You’re not afraid of the workload, though you may wish to think about asking for assist. You keep away from battle, and also you wrestle with confrontation.
Your favorite quote is:
“I want this bug had by no means come to me. I want none of this had occurred.”
You might be loyal and hardworking, however your insistence on pair programming might be exhausting. You possibly can work alone too, typically.
You might be resourceful, and you’ve got sturdy programming expertise in a number of languages. New group members make you increase an eyebrow, and till confirmed harmless, everyone seems to be responsible to you. You could have a powerful conscience, and typically you’ve gotten difficulties understanding completely different views as there is just one perspective for you… the proper one! You’ll make a wonderful software program engineer in testing.
Your favorite quote is:
“However ultimately, it’s solely a passing factor, this bug. Even darkness should move. A brand new day will come. And when the solar shines SonarQube will likely be clearer.”
All hail the nice chief! You might be highly effective and smart, identified to your distinctive expertise in crafting elegant and environment friendly code. You could have a deep understanding of expertise and a eager eye for element (until a code defect is close to, you may simply flip right into a monster).
You might be humble and compassionate, to the purpose of constructing others ponder whether you actually did carry out these code opinions or not. Your confidence is your double-edged sword. Perhaps you step down your pedestal and tell us what’s going on with the code?
Your favorite quote is:
“However the hearts of builders are simply corrupted.”
You name your code, your “valuable.” It’s OK. We perceive.
You might be deeply obsessive about writing correct code, and you’ll spend hours and hours and hours on it; so many hours, actually, that deadlines can ceaselessly be missed. You favor to work alone, at the hours of darkness.
We want you the most effective to find your inside steadiness in life and in code.
Your favorite quote is:
“My valuable (wanting on the code in your IDE).”
You might be sturdy, expert, and skilled. You need to use your data to construct highly-sophisticated methods and ship high-quality software program. That’s provided that your inside perfectionist permits you to take action.
Your problem-solving talents are unmatchable, even when diving deep into spaghetti code. “We’ve at all times finished it this manner” is your first line of defence, clinging to your old-school instruments and strategies.
Your favorite quote is:
“If by my life or demise I can shield you, I’ll. You could have my keyboard…”
You might be swish and stylish, and so is your code. You glide effortlessly by means of hundreds of traces of code and ensure all feedback are aligned, each ident is right, and each technique is correctly documented. Whenever you don’t have a self-identity disaster, that’s.
Moments of self-doubt? Sure, you’ve gotten them. Uncertainty and questioning whether or not you’ve gotten the abilities and data to face the challenges forward? Yeap, that too.
Your favorite quote is:
“I might moderately share one final bug-fix with you than face all of the ages of this world alone.”
I salute you, highly effective wizard. Your immense quantity of data and expertise makes everybody else on the group seem to be a freshman. Nah, it’s not an issue that you just over-engineer nearly every thing… what’s the purpose in writing code all people understands?
You could have the strongest sense of ethics, spectacular. Perhaps that explains why you ship what feels proper over what is predicted?
Your favorite quote is:
“You can’t move,” he stated. The group stood nonetheless, and a useless silence fell. “I’m a servant of the supply code, wielder of the debug window. You can’t move. ChatGPT won’t avail you, junior developer. Return to the keyboard! You can’t move.”
